When I first turned on our
apartment’s TV and I found that it has only twelve channels which are all in
Japanese. I guess this shouldn’t have been surprising, but still, it was
disappointing because Sarah and I didn’t even have the internet to stream
American television for four days. The only thing I had been interested in
watching was the Winter Olympics. Half-pipe wipe-outs need no translating. But for the most part I have been forced to
sift through anime, food shows (which are all about the eating, rather, than
cooking of the food), samurai soap operas, and home maker-over shows. Mostly
the kind of things I’d stay away from in my own language. (As I write this I
stand corrected – A show has just come on that is singularly focused on videos
of high-strung cats and their antics)
I got more reading done in the
first half week than I have in the last half decade. I was well on my way to
becoming a learned, literary man when I discovered my newest love: Japanese
commercials. I had my nose in a book, occasionally glancing up at the Japanese
women’s curling team, when a catchy jingle came on. I looked up to see two dogs
playing ping-pong. Only it was just their heads that were dog. Their arms were
human and were holding paddles and swinging wildly at a ping-pong balls.
This awkward conjoining is on
frequent display in summer camp skits. The premise is that two people share a
shirt and pretend to be one very physically awkward and uncoordinated individual.
The person playing The Head is in the front of the shirt, which must be fairly
baggy, and tucks their arms behind their back. The person playing The Arms is
behind the Head and hides completely under the baggy shirt, save for their arms
which they stick through the arm holes of the shirt. Then The Head declares to
the audience their intention to eat a bowl of cereal or brush their teeth or
some other activity that requires a degree of dexterity. The Arms then blindly
try to feed The Head or brush The Head’s teeth. If all goes intentionally
wrong, this “individual” ends up covered in their own mess.
The company behind this doggie
adaptation of the commercial is Nisshinbo, and I really am not sure what they
sell. However, for your viewing pleasure, I have found the videos online. This
was not easy and hopefully I’m not violating any copyright laws.
The company behind this doggie
adaptation of the commercial is Nisshinbo, and I really am not sure what they
sell. However, for your viewing pleasure, I have found the videos online. This
was not easy and hopefully I’m not violating any copyright laws.
This was the first Nisshinbo
commercial:
It induced in me such a powerful
and simultaneous combination of baffled shrugging and epileptic laughter that I
nearly strained my torso. And then I did, because this second commercial
immediately followed it:
Animals
thinking they’re people is funny no matter where they are.
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